Well, I've been sick the last few days. They are shaking the almond trees here which equals allergies for me. I tried to ride this afternoon, but had to stop half-way due to the heat. Gosh... lots of excuses in this post!
Anyway, my food has been good. I'm still planning to show this weekend. I'm going to try to get up super early and ride tomorrow morning before things get too hot.
I'm really getting a lot from everyone's posts. Don't quite know how to contribute yet, but I'm working on consistency first.
Always remember: Progress not perfection.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Day 2- It's working!
Wow... I've only cut out the obvious sugar from my diet for a few days now, and already the plateau/gain has been stopped. I went to the gym this afternoon and my weight is back down to 247.8 (I was at 251 last week) and my lean body mass is up a lot (almost 20 pounds from where I started). Some might freak out about gaining 20 pounds of muscle but I'm happy about it. I know it will help me in the end.
I don't want to be a skinny girl. I want to be a muscular girl. I want to be fit and strong and able to do the things that I love (mostly ride my horses).
I worked out with Tracy, my physical therapist/trainer, this afternoon and she kicked my butt. In a good way! There were some things I didn't think I could do, but I made it through them all. I do have to declare a formal hatred of side plank, though.
My commitment for this week is to write down everything I eat and to do at least 60 minutes of cardio (above and beyond the riding). I h ave a show this weekend, so I'm keeping the gym time on the light side. I have to be able to move this weekend!
I don't want to be a skinny girl. I want to be a muscular girl. I want to be fit and strong and able to do the things that I love (mostly ride my horses).
I worked out with Tracy, my physical therapist/trainer, this afternoon and she kicked my butt. In a good way! There were some things I didn't think I could do, but I made it through them all. I do have to declare a formal hatred of side plank, though.
My commitment for this week is to write down everything I eat and to do at least 60 minutes of cardio (above and beyond the riding). I h ave a show this weekend, so I'm keeping the gym time on the light side. I have to be able to move this weekend!
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Day 1
My life starts anew today. I am so ashamed of the state of my body and I need to start fresh. I have gained back all the weight I lost (over 100 pounds) and am, once again, a fat girl. I never wanted to be here again, and I'm still not entirely sure how it happened.
Once I reached goal weight, I just didn't know how to eat. I was so happy being thin, but didn't really commit to continuing to eat well. Slowly things starting slipping. Then I moved to Modesto, and my support system fell apart. It took me a year to realize it, but I was in relapse. Then I embraced the relapse and things got really crazy! I ate everything I had been denying myself for so long.
I felt like I let so many people down. It's funny, because at the time I didn't think about how I was letting myself down, just everybody else. Now I'm facing moving back to San Diego, and I'm so afraid of having to face everyone. For them to see the evidence of my failure. There's a small part of my brain that contemplates staying here just to avoid that.
I am angry, and sad, and ashamed. I am trying to toughen up and just move forward from where I am, but it's really hard. I feel mired in failure and unwilling to do the work that's necessary to recover.
I pray to God that he will give me the strength to heal.
Once I reached goal weight, I just didn't know how to eat. I was so happy being thin, but didn't really commit to continuing to eat well. Slowly things starting slipping. Then I moved to Modesto, and my support system fell apart. It took me a year to realize it, but I was in relapse. Then I embraced the relapse and things got really crazy! I ate everything I had been denying myself for so long.
I felt like I let so many people down. It's funny, because at the time I didn't think about how I was letting myself down, just everybody else. Now I'm facing moving back to San Diego, and I'm so afraid of having to face everyone. For them to see the evidence of my failure. There's a small part of my brain that contemplates staying here just to avoid that.
I am angry, and sad, and ashamed. I am trying to toughen up and just move forward from where I am, but it's really hard. I feel mired in failure and unwilling to do the work that's necessary to recover.
I pray to God that he will give me the strength to heal.
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